Why should you, a young Muslim,
be helping to bring your friends closer to Allah?
After all, you've got your own
struggles to deal with: trying to explain why you pray to hostile teachers,
Hijab discrimination, standing up in class when the professor attacks Islam,
dealing with parents who think you've gone nuts because you're growing a beard,
or all the other difficulties faced by a number of practicing Muslim youth?
Islam was never meant to be an
individualistic faith, reserved for the "chosen few". Muslims have a
duty to spread the Deen, and practicing Muslim youth, whether beginners,
activists or leaders have a crucial role to play.
"Allah has put them in a
position that perhaps no one else is in," notes Sheema Khan, former Muslim
Youth of North America (MYNA) advisor for eastern Canada. "They have the
means to communicate with their peers, they have an understanding of what
they're going through plus they have the guidance of Islam."
Who is your childhood friend, who
would rather spend Fridays at MacDonald's than the Masjid, or your classmate
who is Muslim in name and only knows that "Muslims don't eat pork"
going to listen to: the nice Imam of the Masjid who would freak out if he saw
the way they were dressed and talked or you who may have grown up with them,
joked with them, or see them everyday in school?
The answer is obvious: you.
Don't panic. Here are some tips
and advice which can help from other Muslims, many of whom have been there and
done that:
Tip #1: Make your intention
sincere
All work we do should ideally be
for the sake of Allah. That includes the task of bringing someone closer to
Allah. That of course means this should not be connected to arrogance, thinking
you're the teacher and everyone else should be lucky you've embarked on a
crusade to save them. Guidance is from Allah. Make Dua and make sincere efforts
and remember Allah can also misguide you if He wills (we seek refuge in Allah
from that).
Tip #2: Practice what you preach
Not practicing what you preach is
wrong and you will lose the confidence of anyone, young or old, once they
figure you out. Don't do it.
Tip #3: Use the Quran and Seerah (biography of the Prophet) as Dawa guides
Tip #3: Use the Quran and Seerah (biography of the Prophet) as Dawa guides
Read and understand those
chapters of the Quran which talk about how the Prophets presented the message
of Islam to their people. Read the Seerah (for some good
Seerah books)to see especially how the Prophet Muhammad (peace and
blessings be upon him) brought Islam to so many different people, including
young people.
As well, talk to Dawa workers,
and check out manuals they may have written, like Yahiya Emerick's How to Tell
Others About Islam.
Tip #4: Talk to people as if you
really don't know them
Don't assume you know someone
just by looking at them. You don't know that the Muslim girl in your homeroom
who walks through the school's hallways as if they were fashion show catwalks (see
Ambe Rehman's
perspective on this) is not someone you can talk to about
Allah because she looks like a snob. Or that the Muslim guy who you've never
seen at Juma at your university is a "bad Muslim". Maybe he was never
really taught Islam and has no idea what importance Friday prayers have in
Islam, especially for Muslim men.
Tip #5: Smile
Tip #5: Smile
Did you know the Prophet was big
on smiling? But many "practicing" Muslims seem to have "their
faces on upside down" as one speaker once said-frowning and serious.
Smiling, being polite and kind
are all part of the manners of the Prophet, which we must exercise in our daily
lives. If we want to approach others with Islam, we have to make ourselves
approachable. Smiling is key to this.
But note that being approachable
does not mean being flirtations with the other gender. There are Islamic rules
for how men and women should deal with each other which have to be respected.
Dawa is no excuse to have long and private conversations and meetings with the
other sex, for example. Set up a system where someone expressing an interest in
Islam is referred to someone of the same sex.
Tip #6: Take the initiative and
hang out with them
Take the first step and invite
someone you may have spoken to a couple of times to sit at lunch together, to
check out a hockey game or invite them over for Iftar in Ramadan. Also, share
difficulties, sorrows and frustrations. Help with homework, be a shoulder to
cry on when depression hits, or just plain listen when your friend is upset,
discuss common problems and KEEP THEIR SECRETS. There are few things as
annoying as a snitch and backstabber. But an important note: if the problem is
of a serious nature,(i.e. your friend is thinking of committing suicide or is
taking drugs), notify and consult an adult immediately.
Tip #7: Show them Islam is relevant today, right here, right now
Tip #7: Show them Islam is relevant today, right here, right now
Young people may think Islam is
too "old fashioned" and not in tune with the modern age. Prove this
wrong. Show how Islam is really about relating to Allah, which any human being
can do, anywhere, anytime. Allah is always closer to you than your jugular vein
and He hears and knows everything. Encourage friends to ask Allah's help during
tests, exams, and in dealing with problems at home with parents and siblings.
Also point out how Islam relates to teenagers: Islam gives you focus and an
understanding of who you are and where you are going, which most of "teen
culture" does not.
Tip #8: Get them involved in
volunteer work with you
If you are already involved in
the community, get your friend to help out. Ask them to make a flyer for one of
your youth group's events or brainstorm for ideas about activities to hold this
school year. This involvement makes them feel part of the Muslim community and
deepens your friendship, since you are now working together on something
beneficial for both of you. Make sure you thank them for their contribution.
Tip #9: Ask them 4 fundamental
questions
As your friendship develops, you
will notice the topics you discuss may become more serious. You may be
discussing, for instance, future goals and plans. Khan recommends four
questions to ask that can steer the topic to Allah and Islam:
- Where am I going in life and what would make me really happy deep down inside?
- What do I believe?
- Who should I be grateful to?
- Did I get to where I am today without the help of anyone?
A
person's main connection with Allah, on a daily basis, is through the prayer
five times a day. Don't emphasize any other aspect of Islam until your friend
starts making a real effort to pray five times a day. Emphasize the direct
connection one has with Allah in prayer. If they are facing a problem, tell
them to pray, and to ask Allah for help in Salah and outside this time. When
possible, make it a point to pray together during your "hang out
time". If your friend begins to pray, that is the first step to other
aspects of Islam like giving up swearing, treating parents with respect or
dressing Islamically.
Tip#
11: Help instill confidence in adults
Adults,
like Bart Simpson's dad Homer, are considered bumbling idiots in the eyes of
"teen culture". Your job as a young Muslim is to help turn the tables
on this false and unIslamic belief. All you have to do is this: when a Muslim adult
does something good (i.e. saving someone's life, donating money to a worthy
cause, the Imam gives a good speech, taking good care of his/her family) bring
it up in the course of your conversations with your friend and praise the adult
in question. Doing this regularly may not only change your friend's
perspective, but could lead to them seeing their own parents in a more
respectful way.
Tip #12: Support them even when they become more practicing
Tip #12: Support them even when they become more practicing
Remember,
just because a person starts practicing Islam more regularly, this does not
mean everything will be okay from this point onwards. There will still be hard
times, difficulties. There may be times when your friend may have doubts about
his or her newfound practice of Islam. Be there to reassure them.
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